Some new sh*t

So, I’d like to share some things that I find hilarious/interesting/fantastic/terrible about Cameroon, that are pretty commonplace (or at least, not that unusual):

-I was running today and I saw a moto taxi (motorcycle taxi) with a “bumper” sign that read, “Jesus knows your problem.”
-goats and chickens run around like they don’t have owners. They do have owners, but usually, they roam free. The other day, I was walking by a chicken, and perhaps I walked too close, because it flipped out, squawked and ran right across the road in front of me, until it felt like it was a safe distance from me. Kind of amusing.
-Cameroonians are very direct. If you’re fat, they’ll tell you that you’re fat. If you’re white, they’ll tell you that too. The concept of being politically correct is basically non-existent, and I kind of like it that way. By the same token, they’ll comment that you are gaining or losing weight. Generally, putting on weight is a good thing, so if someone tells you that you are “prendre les poids,” that’s a compliment. I was less then thrilled though, the other day, when my homestay father pointed out that I had “pris les poids” since arriving. Joy.
- Not so commonplace, but the other day, I was walking by myself from the market where I had just bought some bananas, and I walked past a groups of young guys. One of them followed me for awhile, and opened with “Give me 100 CFA (the monetary unit).” I said no, I didn’t have any money. Then he said “Okay, well then give me a banana.” I said no again. Then he left me alone. It was so bizarre though, as if he thought that 1) I was rich because I was white and 2) that because I was apparently white/rich, I would just give out my money/belongings if he only asked. It was really bizarre, and a bit unsettling.
- When you’re running, or do any sports, strangers who see you will greet you and say “Du courage,” which doesn’t exactly have an English translation, because its basically a way of cheering you on, or saying something like “keep it up!” It’s awesome to have a village of cheerleaders when you go running.
- Little kids think white people are hilarious. It doesn’t matter what I do, my mere existence is wildly entertaining. One day, I was walking to market, and I had an entourage of wee little followers. Most often, they’ll just say “good morning” or “good afternoon” – sometimes in English and sometimes in French – and then crack up when you reply in kind. This day, however, they were actually following me, so I turned around suddenly and play-screamed at them and they all cracked up. The kids here are fantastic.
-If it’s raining when you’re supposed to be going somewhere, you’re just not expected to be on time. One morning, I was getting ready to go to training, and I came into the living area of my homestay house to get breakfast, but nothing was ready. My father said, “what’s the hurry? It’s raining, it’s fine. Wait until it stops raining to leave.” So I was late. Which was fine, but it’s just funny how that’s pretty much an acceptable excuse for tardiness. In fact, Cameroonians would say it’s more important to be well-dressed and presentable than to be on time.
-I haven’t had a hot shower in over a month now. And I’ve pretty much gotten used to it. And that’s fantastic.
-People will often try to get your attention by making a kissing sound at you. And this is not necessarily always a call for sexual attention – it might just be that they want to alert you to the fact that the moto taxi is there in case you were looking for one. It’s also used during soccer matches to alert fellow teammates that you’re open for a pass.
-Guys hold hands. This is wonderful.
-I went out tonight wearing a tank top and gauchos and felt like a slut almost the entire time. People dress really conservatively here, so this was a very racy outfit. And I had wet hair because I had just showered. Wet hair is considered really sexy as well, so I basically just looked like a whore.